Two and a Half Men

  • Year: 
  • 2003
  • Country: 
  • United States
  • Language: 
  • English
  • Aired:
  • 2003
  • Summary:

    “Two and a Half Men” is an American television sitcom that was first broadcast on CBS on September 22, 2003. Starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the show was originally about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie Harper; his uptight brother, Alan; and Alan’s growing son, Jake. After Alan divorces, he moves with his son to share Charlie’s beach-front Malibu house and complicate Charlie’s free-wheeling life.




Season 1
Ep.1 Pilot (205 links) 2003-09-22
Ep.2 Big Flappy Bastards (173 links) 2003-09-29
Ep.3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell (173 links) 2003-10-06
Ep.4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap (186 links) 2003-10-13
Ep.5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump (176 links) 2003-10-20
Ep.6 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? (160 links) 2003-10-27
Ep.7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake (184 links) 2003-11-03
Ep.8 Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful (170 links) 2003-11-10
Ep.9 Phase One, Complete (178 links) 2003-11-17
Ep.10 Merry Thanksgiving (190 links) 2003-11-24
Ep.11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (182 links) 2003-12-15
Ep.12 Camel Filters + Pheromones (195 links) 2004-01-05
Ep.13 Sara Like Puny Alan (187 links) 2004-01-13
Ep.14 I Can't Afford Hyenas (165 links) 2004-02-02
Ep.15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (163 links) 2004-02-09
Ep.16 That Was Saliva, Alan (127 links) 2004-02-16
Ep.17 Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats (157 links) 2004-02-23
Ep.18 An Old Flame With a New Wick (156 links) 2004-03-01
Ep.19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You (166 links) 2004-03-22
Ep.20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark (211 links) 2004-04-19
Ep.21 No Sniffing, No Wowing (125 links) 2004-05-03
Ep.22 My Doctor has a Cow Puppet (186 links) 2004-05-10
Ep.23 Just Like Buffalo (158 links) 2004-05-17
Ep.24 Can You Feel My Finger? (159 links) 2004-05-24
Season 2
Ep.1 Back Off Mary Poppins (164 links) 2004-09-20
Ep.2 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (196 links) 2004-09-27
Ep.3 A Bag Full of Jawea (165 links) 2004-10-04
Ep.4 Go Get Mommy's Bra (167 links) 2004-10-11
Ep.5 Bad News from the Clinic (165 links) 2004-10-18
Ep.6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (165 links) 2004-10-25
Ep.7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana (226 links) 2004-11-08
Ep.8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers (58 links) 2004-11-15
Ep.9 Yes, Monsignor (62 links) 2004-11-22
Ep.10 The Salmon Under My Sweater (58 links) 2004-11-29
Ep.11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos (59 links) 2004-12-13
Ep.12 A Lungful of Alan (85 links) 2005-01-03
Ep.13 Get Off My Hair (79 links) 2005-01-17
Ep.14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut (79 links) 2005-01-31
Ep.15 Smell the Umbrella Stand (79 links) 2005-02-07
Ep.16 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? (78 links) 2005-02-14
Ep.17 Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam! (75 links) 2005-02-21
Ep.18 It Was Mame, Mom (58 links) 2005-03-07
Ep.19 A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise (56 links) 2005-03-21
Ep.20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey (55 links) 2005-04-18
Ep.21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On (54 links) 2005-05-02
Ep.22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother (59 links) 2005-05-09
Ep.23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab (57 links) 2005-05-16
Ep.24 Does This Smell Funny to You? (57 links) 2005-05-23

Season 3
Ep.1 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts (59 links) 2005-09-19
Ep.2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover (50 links) 2005-09-26
Ep.3 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark (58 links) 2005-10-03
Ep.4 Your Dismissive Attidude Towards Boobs (83 links) 2005-10-10
Ep.5 We Called It Mr. Pinky (59 links) 2005-10-17
Ep.6 Hi, Mr. Horned One (64 links) 2005-10-24
Ep.7 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop (64 links) 2005-11-07
Ep.8 That Voodoo That I Do Do (59 links) 2005-11-14
Ep.9 Madame and Her Special friend (85 links) 2005-11-21
Ep.10 Something Salted and Twisted (72 links) 2005-11-28
Ep.11 Santa's Village of the Damned (57 links) 2005-12-19
Ep.12 That Special Tug (62 links) 2006-01-09
Ep.13 Humiliation is a Visual Medium (58 links) 2006-01-23
Ep.14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded (59 links) 2006-02-06
Ep.15 My Tongue is Meat (61 links) 2006-02-27
Ep.16 Ergo, The Booty Call (73 links) 2006-03-06
Ep.17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (73 links) 2006-03-13
Ep.18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler (59 links) 2006-03-20
Ep.19 Golly Moses, She's A Muffin (87 links) 2006-04-10
Ep.20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro (89 links) 2006-04-24
Ep.21 And the Plot Moistens (87 links) 2006-05-01
Ep.22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie (61 links) 2006-05-09
Ep.23 Arguments for the Quickie (63 links) 2006-05-15
Ep.24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (61 links) 2006-05-22
Season 4
Ep.1 Working for Caligula (66 links) 2006-09-18
Ep.2 Who's Vod Kanockers? (71 links) 2006-09-25
Ep.3 The Sea is a Harsh Mistress (74 links) 2006-10-02
Ep.4 A Pot Smoking Monkey (72 links) 2006-10-09
Ep.5 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility (63 links) 2006-10-16
Ep.6 Apologies for the Frivolity (64 links) 2006-10-23
Ep.7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head (71 links) 2006-11-06
Ep.8 Release the Dogs (75 links) 2006-11-13
Ep.9 Corey's Been Dead For an Hour (72 links) 2006-11-20
Ep.10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln (69 links) 2006-11-27
Ep.11 Walnuts and Demerol (65 links) 2006-12-11
Ep.12 Castrating Sheep in Montana (72 links) 2007-01-08
Ep.13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer (69 links) 2007-01-22
Ep.14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami (64 links) 2007-02-05
Ep.15 My Damn Stalker (70 links) 2007-02-12
Ep.16 Young People Have Phlegm Too (83 links) 2007-02-18
Ep.17 I Merely Slept With a Commie (70 links) 2007-02-26
Ep.18 It Never Rains in Hooterville (68 links) 2007-03-19
Ep.19 Smooth as a Ken Doll (76 links) 2007-04-09
Ep.20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot (89 links) 2007-04-16
Ep.21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous (74 links) 2007-04-23
Ep.22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag (82 links) 2007-04-30
Ep.23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin (75 links) 2007-05-07
Ep.24 Prostitutes and Gelato (34 links) 2007-05-14

Season 5
Ep.1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom (73 links) 2007-09-24
Ep.2 Media Room Slash Dungeon (85 links) 2007-10-01
Ep.3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo (77 links) 2007-10-08
Ep.4 City of Great Racks (41 links) 2007-10-14
Ep.5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat (77 links) 2007-10-23
Ep.6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail (84 links) 2007-10-30
Ep.7 The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room (80 links) 2007-11-05
Ep.8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? (84 links) 2007-11-12
Ep.9 Shoes, Hats, Pickle, Jar Lids. (81 links) 2007-11-19
Ep.10 Kinda Like Necrophilia (53 links) 2007-11-26
Ep.11 Meander to Your Dander (57 links) 2008-03-17
Ep.12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh (49 links) 2008-03-24
Ep.13 The Soil is Moist (73 links) 2008-03-31
Ep.14 Winky-Dink Time (70 links) 2008-04-14
Ep.15 Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle) (79 links) 2008-04-21
Ep.16 Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty (78 links) 2008-04-28
Ep.17 Fish in a Drawer (49 links) 2008-05-05
Ep.18 If My Hole Could Talk (52 links) 2008-05-12
Ep.19 Waiting for the Right Snapper (51 links) 2008-05-19
Season 6
Ep.1 Taterhead is Our Love Child (54 links) 2008-09-22
Ep.2 Pie Hole, Herb (56 links) 2008-09-29
Ep.3 Damn You, Eggs Benedict (54 links) 2008-10-06
Ep.4 The Flavin' and the Mavin' (59 links) 2008-10-13
Ep.5 A Jock Strap in Hell (52 links) 2008-10-20
Ep.6 It's Always Nazi Week (1) (55 links) 2008-11-03
Ep.7 Best H.O. Money Can Buy (56 links) 2008-11-10
Ep.8 Pinocchio's Mouth (55 links) 2008-11-17
Ep.9 The Mooch At The Boo (59 links) 2008-11-24
Ep.10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited (59 links) 2008-12-08
Ep.11 The Devil's Lube (62 links) 2008-12-15
Ep.12 Thank God for Scoliosis (58 links) 2009-01-12
Ep.13 I Think You Offended Don (58 links) 2009-01-19
Ep.14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie (53 links) 2009-02-02
Ep.15 I'd Like to Start With the Cat (53 links) 2009-02-09
Ep.16 She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime (51 links) 2009-03-02
Ep.17 The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'? (53 links) 2009-03-09
Ep.18 My Son's Enormous Head (58 links) 2009-03-16
Ep.19 The Two Finger Rule (50 links) 2009-03-30
Ep.20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau (55 links) 2009-04-13
Ep.21 Above Exalted Cyclops (53 links) 2009-04-27
Ep.22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box (59 links) 2009-05-04
Ep.23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth (53 links) 2009-05-11
Ep.24 Baseball with Better Steroids (53 links) 2009-05-18

Season 7
Ep.1 818-jklpuzo (55 links) 2009-09-21
Ep.2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation (51 links) 2009-09-28
Ep.3 Mmm, Fish. Yum. (53 links) 2009-10-05
Ep.4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator (51 links) 2009-10-12
Ep.5 For the Sake of the Child (54 links) 2009-10-19
Ep.6 Give Me Your Thumb (53 links) 2009-11-02
Ep.7 Untainted by Filth (54 links) 2009-11-09
Ep.8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. (53 links) 2009-11-16
Ep.9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair (49 links) 2009-11-23
Ep.10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room (56 links) 2009-12-07
Ep.11 Warning, It's Dirty (55 links) 2009-12-15
Ep.12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste (56 links) 2010-01-11
Ep.13 Yay, No Polyps! (54 links) 2010-01-18
Ep.14 Crude and Uncalled For (1) (56 links) 2010-02-01
Ep.15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2) (61 links) 2010-02-08
Ep.16 Tinkle Like a Princess (55 links) 2010-03-01
Ep.17 I Found Your Moustache (54 links) 2010-03-08
Ep.18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day (54 links) 2010-03-22
Ep.19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave (51 links) 2010-04-12
Ep.20 I Called Him Magoo (53 links) 2010-05-10
Ep.21 Gumby with a Pokey (50 links) 2010-05-17
Ep.22 This is Not Gonna End Well (53 links) 2010-05-24
Season 8
Ep.1 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud (54 links) 2010-09-20
Ep.2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer (49 links) 2010-09-27
Ep.3 A Pudding-Filled Cactus (51 links) 2010-10-04
Ep.4 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers (52 links) 2010-10-11
Ep.5 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel (54 links) 2010-10-18
Ep.6 Twanging Your Magic Clanger (52 links) 2010-10-25
Ep.7 The Crazy Bitch Gazette (55 links) 2010-11-01
Ep.8 Springtime on a Stick (54 links) 2010-11-08
Ep.9 A Good Time In Central Africa (55 links) 2010-11-15
Ep.10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop (54 links) 2010-11-22
Ep.11 Dead From the Waist Down (57 links) 2010-12-06
Ep.12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead (58 links) 2010-12-13
Ep.13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup (52 links) 2011-01-03
Ep.14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs (57 links) 2011-01-17
Ep.15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak (54 links) 2011-02-07
Ep.16 That Darn Priest (56 links) 2011-02-14

Season 9
Ep.1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt (53 links) 2011-09-19
Ep.2 People Who Love Peepholes (55 links) 2011-09-26
Ep.3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food (60 links) 2011-10-03
Ep.4 Nine Magic Fingers (60 links) 2011-10-10
Ep.5 A Giant Cat Holding Churro (59 links) 2011-10-17
Ep.6 The Squat and The Hover (61 links) 2011-10-24
Ep.7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets (57 links) 2011-10-31
Ep.8 Thank You For The Intercourse (69 links) 2011-11-07
Ep.9 Frodo's Headshots (66 links) 2011-11-14
Ep.10 Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes (53 links) 2011-11-21
Ep.11 A Lovely Landing Strip (60 links) 2011-12-05
Ep.12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! (62 links) 2011-12-12
Ep.13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion (52 links) 2012-01-02
Ep.14 A Possum on Chemo (48 links) 2012-01-16
Ep.15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack (51 links) 2012-02-06
Ep.16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy (55 links) 2012-02-13
Ep.17 Not In My Mouth (52 links) 2012-02-20
Ep.18 The War Against Gingivitis (51 links) 2012-02-27
Ep.19 Palmdale, Ech (52 links) 2012-03-19
Ep.20 Grandma's Pie (53 links) 2012-04-09
Ep.21 Mr. Hose Says Yes (53 links) 2012-04-16
Ep.22 Why We Gave Up Women (55 links) 2012-04-30
Ep.23 The Straw In My Donut Hole (57 links) 2012-05-07
Ep.24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! (56 links) 2012-05-14
Season 10
Ep.1 I Changed My Mind About the Milk (43 links) 2012-09-27
Ep.2 A Big Bag of Dog (51 links) 2012-10-04
Ep.3 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt (52 links) 2012-10-11
Ep.4 You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For (43 links) 2012-10-18
Ep.5 That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam (48 links) 2012-10-25
Ep.6 Ferrets, Attack! (42 links) 2012-11-01
Ep.7 Avoid the Chinese Mustard (54 links) 2012-11-08
Ep.8 Something My Gynecologist Said (49 links) 2012-11-15
Ep.9 I Scream When I Pee (42 links) 2012-11-29
Ep.10 One Nut Johnson (44 links) 2012-12-06
Ep.11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole (42 links) 2012-12-13
Ep.12 Welcome to Alancrest (51 links) 2013-01-03
Ep.13 Grab A Feather And Get In Line (49 links) 2013-01-10
Ep.14 Run Steven Staven! Run! (46 links) 2013-01-31
Ep.15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It (51 links) 2013-02-07
Ep.16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby (50 links) 2013-02-14
Ep.17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries (46 links) 2013-02-21
Ep.18 The 9:04 From Pemberton (53 links) 2013-03-07
Ep.19 Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon (49 links) 2013-03-14
Ep.20 Bazinga! That's From a TV Show (42 links) 2013-04-04
Ep.21 Another Night With Neil Diamond (53 links) 2013-04-25
Ep.22 My Bodacious Vidalia (55 links) 2013-05-02
Ep.23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped (53 links) 2013-05-09

Season 11
Ep.1 Nangnangnangnang (63 links) 2013-09-26
Ep.2 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball (48 links) 2013-10-03
Ep.3 This Unblessed Biscuit (50 links) 2013-10-10
Ep.4 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank (63 links) 2013-10-17
Ep.5 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 (61 links) 2013-10-24
Ep.6 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants (62 links) 2013-11-07
Ep.7 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie (67 links) 2013-11-14
Ep.8 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. (59 links) 2013-11-21
Ep.9 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer (56 links) 2013-12-05
Ep.10 On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer! (57 links) 2013-12-12
Ep.11 Tazed In The Lady Nuts (50 links) 2014-01-02
Ep.12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. (56 links) 2014-01-09
Ep.13 Bite Me, Supreme Court (74 links) 2014-01-30
Ep.14 Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe (64 links) 2014-02-06
Ep.15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin (60 links) 2014-02-27
Ep.16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper (61 links) 2014-03-06
Ep.17 Welcome Home, Jake (49 links) 2014-03-13
Ep.18 West Side Story (46 links) 2014-04-03
Ep.19 Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick (45 links) 2014-04-10
Ep.20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia (51 links) 2014-04-24
Ep.21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot (47 links) 2014-05-01
Ep.22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead (45 links) 2014-05-08
Season 12
Ep.1 The Ol' Mexican Spinach (160 links) 2014-10-30
Ep.2 A Chic Bar in Ibiza (174 links) 2014-11-06
Ep.3 Glamping in a Yurt (194 links) 2014-11-13
Ep.4 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight (178 links) 2014-11-20
Ep.5 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. (201 links) 2014-11-27
Ep.6 Alan Shot a Little Girl (147 links) 2014-12-04
Ep.7 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner (143 links) 2014-12-11
Ep.8 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey (132 links) 2014-12-18
Ep.9 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey (187 links) 2015-01-08
Ep.10 Here I Come, Pants! (197 links) 2015-01-15
Ep.11 For Whom the Booty Calls (264 links) 2015-01-22
Ep.12 A Beer Battered Rip-Off (232 links) 2015-01-29
Ep.13 Boompa Loved His Hookers (294 links) 2015-02-05
Ep.14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun (330 links) 2015-02-12
Ep.15 Of Course He's Dead (1) (189 links) 2015-02-19
Ep.16 Of Course He's Dead (2) (118 links) 2015-02-19